Wednesday, January 24, 2007


For a crass read, Buffalo's free weekly, The Beast, has just published its annual list of America's 50 most Loathsome people, complete with charges, evidence, and the required punishment. One of my personal favorites from this year is the punishment reserved for Ken Lay:

Sentence: Drinking a martini in his bathrobe and reading the Wall Street Journal at his secret compound in the South Pacific, the "late" Mr. Lay starts choking on an olive when the 400th major daily article to describe his life as "Shakespearean" makes him laugh out loud. Lay falls out of his chair, impaling an eyeball with the stem of his glass and catching his penis in a $900 toaster. The electrical current triggers the long-dormant prefrontal cortex of his now-smoldering brain, suddenly activating Lay's conscience. As he is slowly and painfully electrocuted over several minutes, Lay experiences a lifetime of guilt and remorse. Then he catches fire.

The 2005 list is available here.